— note · viii · folded

left · the morning after · the kitchen counter

a half-apology

i should not have said it like that.

or perhaps — i should not have said it.

i was tired and

you were also

anyway. tea, when you are up.

— me

two lines crossed out, three lines kept. an apology with most of the apology removed. the writer has, in the act of writing it, made several attempts at owning what was said — and has, in each case, struck the part that named the other person's share of it. what remains is the part about themselves. the offer of tea is the only practical instrument.

the note was found in the morning, by the person it concerned, who read it twice, folded it once more, and put it under the salt-cellar. tea was made, separately, by both of them, at slightly different hours, in the same kettle. the matter was not raised again, and was not, by the manner of the not-raising, settled — only deferred, which is a domestic synonym.

the apology that says i should not have said it like that is the apology that, on a second reading, you realise was not for the saying but for the manner of saying. these are not the same admission.

thank you unfinished regret silence word

atlas · return