— sounds · first breath of evening

the first deep breath of evening

source: yourself, at a window· ~12 db· duration: one long exhale

not the breaths of the day, which are small and forgetful. this one is wide — the chest opens, the shoulders give, and the inhale arrives as a faint hhhh at the back of the throat. the exhale is slower than the inhale, and ends in a sound that is almost a word but is not one. you have been holding the day. the breath puts the day down.

around it: the room going amber, then dim. the dusk outside settling in along the window; the lamps not yet on. the tick of a clock you had stopped hearing. the breath happens once and is the threshold between the working self and the evening self. before it: the day. after it: a different kind of patience.

it stops on its own — you cannot extend it without spoiling it. what follows is its own quiet, the quiet of a body that has admitted to itself it has been carrying things. you may notice you are smiling slightly; you may notice nothing. either is right. the second breath is an ordinary breath again, and the kettle can be put on.

field note · the west window, any season it usually arrives unannounced. once or twice i have waited for it on purpose and it has not come. the first breath of evening is not something you do. it is something the evening does to you, when it is sure you have stopped pretending.

breath dusk window the kettle silence

atlas · return