a sunday · pressed-down hand · sent: no
dear A.,
i was wrong. i would like to say so without conditions, which is, i think, the only way an apology is worth anything.
i was wrong on the wednesday, and again on the friday, and on the friday i knew it and did not say so, which is worse.
i have written this twice before and edited myself into a defence. i have torn those drafts up.
this is what i meant to say: i am sorry. i should not have said what i said about your mother. i should not have left the door open.
you do not have to answer. you do not have to forgive. i only wanted the sentence to exist somewhere on paper.
— with shame, with affection,
your friend
not sent because the writer, at the post office, realised the apology had already done its work simply by being written, and felt that posting it would re-open what the writing had closed. a letter that did its work without travelling.
apology · repeated mistake small regret bouquet · apology unposted to one unnamed